Dear Broch-ly,
It's me, your dear sister. Back home. We miss you... How's college treating your pea sized brain? Oh and guess what? I got your room! That's another bonus of you leaving. Ugh, it took me like three days to get the smell of out of the stinky room. What did you hide in there? Pizza boxes? Dead bodies? It was AWFUL. Your room is now painted green and purple, with Peta posters over the walls, it looks fabu!
So anyways, let's get to the chase. I was at the mechanic shop, where I work, in case you've forgotten, you over sized meat bag. The boys were all surrounding me, as usual. But they stopped and asked where Midgie Poo was. I said she left for college and they all disappeared to their own jobs. But, that got me thinking. I have a JOB for you, I want you to find out who Midge is staying with, her roommate? [I saw that movie, it's so CREEPY] If you could do that, that would be lovely. A few background checks a sample of her DNA. Just check her out, I don't want my BFF in danger of a mass murder.
[Are all these big words scaring you yet? Oh I hope not.] Ah I should be getting off to my protest about eating animals down at the McDonald's. Don't forget your job, you jock. Mum and Dad says Hi. Get good grades, will ya? Thank you. And remember eat school, don't do vegetables, and stay in drugs. Right? Oh well, toodles,
Your beloved sister dear,
Bertha Bellwether.
Epistolary2011: August 3 2010
Bertha,
Just reminding you that you...: "August 3 2010 Bertha, Just reminding you that you didn't check in with me last Monday. I'll let you off this one time but if it happens aga..."
Monday, February 28, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
August 3 2010
Bertha,
Just reminding you that you didn't check in with me last Monday. I'll let you off this one time
but if it happens again I WILL have to, well you know what. You are a good kid and you have potential. Just put your past behind you, live with the fact that you have to check in for a few months and you'll be fine.
Your friend and parole officer,
Frank
Bertha,
Just reminding you that you didn't check in with me last Monday. I'll let you off this one time
but if it happens again I WILL have to, well you know what. You are a good kid and you have potential. Just put your past behind you, live with the fact that you have to check in for a few months and you'll be fine.
Your friend and parole officer,
Frank
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
June 12, 2010
Hi Nicole!
Consider this a non-physical handshake/hug! I am so excited to be going to college; I'm sure we will have a great year together. Midge is fine with me. Normally everyone calls me Maggie, but I am willing to give Midge a try! Do you smell that? It's the scent of new friends, new oppurtunites, and most important of all, FREEDOM! Three cheers for that.
Don't worry, I don't drink or smoke, and I will try my best to be easy to get along with. No worries, morning and me don't get along very well either! I don't do the whole Christianity thing, but I do believe respect and hardwork will take you a long way. I just stay
out of trouble and try to be a good person, which has gotten me this far.
What are you interested in? I adore anything to do with English or Literature. What
do you like? I am planning on studying together and stuff if that's OK with you. When it comes
to science-anything, I need all the help I can get! Have you looked at the class schedule yet?
Oh, do you know how to get a cafeteria pass?My parents wanted to get me one of those so I wouldn't have worry much about food. They're sweet, but I don't think they realize how ridiculous they can be sometimes. I love them anyway. I have a 15-year-old sister named
Catherine, but everybody just calls her Cathi. What's your family like? I also have two goldfish
that are coming with me. Their names are Alphie and Myrtle.
Well, I better go. Can't wait!
Your future roomate,
"Midge"
Consider this a non-physical handshake/hug! I am so excited to be going to college; I'm sure we will have a great year together. Midge is fine with me. Normally everyone calls me Maggie, but I am willing to give Midge a try! Do you smell that? It's the scent of new friends, new oppurtunites, and most important of all, FREEDOM! Three cheers for that.
Don't worry, I don't drink or smoke, and I will try my best to be easy to get along with. No worries, morning and me don't get along very well either! I don't do the whole Christianity thing, but I do believe respect and hardwork will take you a long way. I just stay
out of trouble and try to be a good person, which has gotten me this far.
What are you interested in? I adore anything to do with English or Literature. What
do you like? I am planning on studying together and stuff if that's OK with you. When it comes
to science-anything, I need all the help I can get! Have you looked at the class schedule yet?
Oh, do you know how to get a cafeteria pass?My parents wanted to get me one of those so I wouldn't have worry much about food. They're sweet, but I don't think they realize how ridiculous they can be sometimes. I love them anyway. I have a 15-year-old sister named
Catherine, but everybody just calls her Cathi. What's your family like? I also have two goldfish
that are coming with me. Their names are Alphie and Myrtle.
Well, I better go. Can't wait!
Your future roomate,
"Midge"
June 8, 2010
Margaret Bowers,
Okay first off, can I call you Midge? I just can’t get used to the name ‘Margaret’… it sounds too formal. I guess you got the same letter I did, so you already know that my name's Nicole. But anyways, ETIAS has paired us as roomies, so I’d just like to let you know I have standards you’ll have to live up to if we’re gonna make whole ‘rooming together’ thing work out.
1.) I’m a Christian, and I don’t want you making fun of me for it. And if you’re one of those heathens who practices witchcraft or whatever, keep all that stuff to yourself. I don’t want a demon-possessed room.
2.) No smoking, drinking booze, inviting friends that drink booze and/or smoke, no taking or dealing drugs, and no killing people. All of that stuff is gross, and I won’t put up with it.
3.) If you’re a health freak, don’t try to get me to drink your grass juice. I’ll just eat my burger and fries, thank you very much.
4.) If you have an early class, don’t wake me up. I’m not the nicest person to be around when it’s early.
Those are all the main things, I guess. Well, I’ll see you there, Midge!
From the most awesome roommate in the world,
Nicole Fields
Okay first off, can I call you Midge? I just can’t get used to the name ‘Margaret’… it sounds too formal. I guess you got the same letter I did, so you already know that my name's Nicole. But anyways, ETIAS has paired us as roomies, so I’d just like to let you know I have standards you’ll have to live up to if we’re gonna make whole ‘rooming together’ thing work out.
1.) I’m a Christian, and I don’t want you making fun of me for it. And if you’re one of those heathens who practices witchcraft or whatever, keep all that stuff to yourself. I don’t want a demon-possessed room.
2.) No smoking, drinking booze, inviting friends that drink booze and/or smoke, no taking or dealing drugs, and no killing people. All of that stuff is gross, and I won’t put up with it.
3.) If you’re a health freak, don’t try to get me to drink your grass juice. I’ll just eat my burger and fries, thank you very much.
4.) If you have an early class, don’t wake me up. I’m not the nicest person to be around when it’s early.
Those are all the main things, I guess. Well, I’ll see you there, Midge!
From the most awesome roommate in the world,
Nicole Fields
June 7, 2010
Office of Admissions
East Tennessee Institute of Arts and Sciences
805 Old Fifteenth Road
Sullivan, TN 37717
Re: Freshman Dormitory Assignments
Dear Misses Margaret Bowers and Nicole Fields:
We are delighted that you will be joining the freshman class of East Tennessee Institute of Arts and Sciences this fall. Although this is an exciting time for many students, it can also be fraught with trepidation and anxiety. This often stems from confusion regarding academic advisement, class schedules, and housing concerns. Please know that there is a dedicated employee of ETIAS assigned to address any questions you might have in each of these areas.
The following is your housing information:
Dorm: Blackburn Dorm, first floor
Room: 117
Students: Margaret Bowers and Nicole Fields
Blackburn is one of two freshman dorms for women. Each apartment has a bedroom, a sitting area, and a bathroom. The bedroom is furnished with two single beds and two built-in bureaus, and the sitting room offers two student desks. All other furniture, and all linens, must be provided by the tenants.
There is an insert accompanying this letter that will outline dormitory rules and regulations. Attached you will find the contact information of your new roommate. You are encouraged to get to know one another prior to the fall semester to make the transition to collegiate life as seamless as possible.
You may move in at any time during Freshman Welcome Week in August. Ms. Monahan is the Resident Administrator for Blackburn Dorm. She is a graduate of ETIAS, class of 1991, and is currently a tenured professor of Criminal Psychology, Technology in Law Enforcement, and Scrapbooking as a Business.
Ms. Monahan's apartment is located on the first floor of Blackburn, directly opposite the front lobby doors. If you have any questions, you may stop in an see her, or write to:
Ms. Mary Della Monahan
Campus Mail, Box 232
East Tennessee Institute of Arts and Sciences
805 Old Fifteenth Road
Sullivan, TN 37717
We look forward to meeting you in August!
Dear Girls,
I am excited to welcome you to Blackburn Dorm. I have been Resident Administrator here since 1995. Please feel free to drop in an have a tour of the dormitory. If I don't answer my apartment door, I may be in another part of the building, or in my office in the Business College. Just come find me...I am tall, forty years old, with short, curly blond hair, and a rather long nose :) . I am invariably dressed in black slacks or skirt, a white blouse and a black suit jacket. Just ask for Mad Dog Monahan, and someone can point you in the right direction.
Looking forward to meeting you both,
Sincerely,
MD Monahan
East Tennessee Institute of Arts and Sciences
805 Old Fifteenth Road
Sullivan, TN 37717
Re: Freshman Dormitory Assignments
Dear Misses Margaret Bowers and Nicole Fields:
We are delighted that you will be joining the freshman class of East Tennessee Institute of Arts and Sciences this fall. Although this is an exciting time for many students, it can also be fraught with trepidation and anxiety. This often stems from confusion regarding academic advisement, class schedules, and housing concerns. Please know that there is a dedicated employee of ETIAS assigned to address any questions you might have in each of these areas.
The following is your housing information:
Dorm: Blackburn Dorm, first floor
Room: 117
Students: Margaret Bowers and Nicole Fields
Blackburn is one of two freshman dorms for women. Each apartment has a bedroom, a sitting area, and a bathroom. The bedroom is furnished with two single beds and two built-in bureaus, and the sitting room offers two student desks. All other furniture, and all linens, must be provided by the tenants.
There is an insert accompanying this letter that will outline dormitory rules and regulations. Attached you will find the contact information of your new roommate. You are encouraged to get to know one another prior to the fall semester to make the transition to collegiate life as seamless as possible.
You may move in at any time during Freshman Welcome Week in August. Ms. Monahan is the Resident Administrator for Blackburn Dorm. She is a graduate of ETIAS, class of 1991, and is currently a tenured professor of Criminal Psychology, Technology in Law Enforcement, and Scrapbooking as a Business.
Ms. Monahan's apartment is located on the first floor of Blackburn, directly opposite the front lobby doors. If you have any questions, you may stop in an see her, or write to:
Ms. Mary Della Monahan
Campus Mail, Box 232
East Tennessee Institute of Arts and Sciences
805 Old Fifteenth Road
Sullivan, TN 37717
We look forward to meeting you in August!
Dear Girls,
I am excited to welcome you to Blackburn Dorm. I have been Resident Administrator here since 1995. Please feel free to drop in an have a tour of the dormitory. If I don't answer my apartment door, I may be in another part of the building, or in my office in the Business College. Just come find me...I am tall, forty years old, with short, curly blond hair, and a rather long nose :) . I am invariably dressed in black slacks or skirt, a white blouse and a black suit jacket. Just ask for Mad Dog Monahan, and someone can point you in the right direction.
Looking forward to meeting you both,
Sincerely,
MD Monahan
Monday, February 14, 2011
Welcome!
An epistolary is a work of literature based on letters from one or more characters. This is Literature Application's Round Robin Epistolary. Let the adventure begin!
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