Dear Broch-ly,
It's me, your dear sister. Back home. We miss you... How's college treating your pea sized brain? Oh and guess what? I got your room! That's another bonus of you leaving. Ugh, it took me like three days to get the smell of out of the stinky room. What did you hide in there? Pizza boxes? Dead bodies? It was AWFUL. Your room is now painted green and purple, with Peta posters over the walls, it looks fabu!
So anyways, let's get to the chase. I was at the mechanic shop, where I work, in case you've forgotten, you over sized meat bag. The boys were all surrounding me, as usual. But they stopped and asked where Midgie Poo was. I said she left for college and they all disappeared to their own jobs. But, that got me thinking. I have a JOB for you, I want you to find out who Midge is staying with, her roommate? [I saw that movie, it's so CREEPY] If you could do that, that would be lovely. A few background checks a sample of her DNA. Just check her out, I don't want my BFF in danger of a mass murder.
[Are all these big words scaring you yet? Oh I hope not.] Ah I should be getting off to my protest about eating animals down at the McDonald's. Don't forget your job, you jock. Mum and Dad says Hi. Get good grades, will ya? Thank you. And remember eat school, don't do vegetables, and stay in drugs. Right? Oh well, toodles,
Your beloved sister dear,
Bertha Bellwether.
Epistolary2011: August 3 2010
Bertha,
Just reminding you that you...: "August 3 2010 Bertha, Just reminding you that you didn't check in with me last Monday. I'll let you off this one time but if it happens aga..."
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